The Ever-Learning Disciple

      Tonight the sun will set 30 minutes earlier than it did the beginning of July. The nights are cooler with crisp air, birds are packing up for their seasonal travel, and front porches are newly adorned with pumpkins and hay bells.  Ready or not-- Fall is coming.        As Autumn emerges, I am reminded of the most important juncture of my 23 year journey on earth. The seasons were changing and I had been walking in the valley for a few years. I had been doing everything I knew to do to pull out of the force field of sin that was preventing me from climbing the mountain in front of me. I walked in obedience (after many years of walking in rebellion), and petitioned the Lord each day to show me more. I pleaded with Him to reveal to me why, even after a year of searching for Him, the temptations were still unbearable and pain was still substantial. "Lord, have I ran out of Your grace?  Is there any mercy left for me?"   ...

"You can't build your own boyfriend" I admit I have serious control issues. I'd rather do an entire group project alone so that I don't have to depend on or trust other people's work. It's just my personality.. But recently, The Lord has began revealing to me that this is not a Godly attribute.  So, I began to search out and pray about my role as a Godly woman. Who has the Lord instructed me to be; how has He laid out the blueprint for me to handle decision-making and fight off my eager, controlling desires?  Scripture lays out framework for who we are to be as women and men of God. First and foremost, we are to be imitators of God. Yes, we as sinners who cannot escape our flesh, are to strive for the righteousness of our Holy God. The next part of Ephesians 5 tell us how  we are to mimic our Lord-- by walking in love. Forgive one another, sacrifice for your brother's sake, and resist feeling entitled to anything.  Love is hard. Forgiveness is ...

I love that my friends and family are concerned and interested in my life. But it seems like every Sunday morning or Holiday family event, the question comes up: "Are you seeing anyone?" Obsessing over marriage has been a huge struggle in my life. The longer I was single, the longer my list of things that are wrong with me became. I am in my twenties; this is the time of my life that prince charming comes to slay the dragon, battle the beast, and rescue me. So, where is he? Is he lost at sea? Did I choose the wrong coffee shop the day I was supposed to meet him? Why is everyone telling me they are sorry when I respond to their question?... Sorry? Sorry for what? I live in the south, I get that. Most people in my family were married as teenagers. My sister is two years older than me, yet six years ahead of me. But that just isn't the way my life went. And I am tired of apologizing for it or feeling as if I did something wrong along the way. I came to know Christ (fo...

I wish I could say that I love people. If only I could have an enduring, constant love for people-- a love that survives in me regardless of capricious circumstances. But to put it simply, I don't. I feel hurt easily by the piercing words of people. I am quick to gain a bitter heart, and even quicker to suspend my relationships with those that I have lost a sense of love towards. What's worse, is that I continually count myself blameless. I attribute wrongness and sinfulness to my neighbors, abandoning the idea that I may have my own transgressions to resolve. Mark chapter 7 speaks about the traits that defile us. "For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these evil things, come from within and they defile a person." As I read this passage, I mistakenly began pardoning myself from most (all) of them: Evil tho...

Humility is the portal to understanding God's grace and mercy. It is through humility and self-abandonment that we find the need for a Savior. As we appraise our conduct and pursuit to unveil the sins that are obscured in our hearts, we discover just how unworthy we are to be called a child of God-- how unsuitable we are for God's compassion on us.  Paul was an apostle of Jesus Christ who didn't always have his act together, so to speak. In his early life, he victimized anyone who claimed to follow the Lord. He was a Pharisee. This powerful religion demanded strict adherence to decree and tradition. The Jews believed that the Messiah would appear on earth as a majestic King who would declare and demand the glory that He deserves. But that's not who Jesus was. Jesus came and lived among the poor. The gospels even mention that he shed his outer clothing, wrapped a towel around his waist, and washed the feet of His disciples. This wasn't an ambitious man who insisted ...

Can we understand love? Well, what kind of love are we talking about? Eros,  the erotic love? You know, the sweet romance that a man portrays as he pursues the lady of his colors. The mysterious, butterfly type love. Philos , the love of a friend? The love that carries us through the days we live. The love that not only comforts us in our time of despair, but also is stern and accountable to the character we hope to mold into in hopes of becoming more like Christ. Or are we speaking of Agape ? The unconditional love that we attribute to our glorious father? The affection that chases us down dark alleys as we leap into darkness. Is it really that distinct? I'm thinking no. I propose that there are specific overlaps within these loves. Overlaps that are tailored to each person, each relationship, each circumstance. If we are to marry, shall we love only erotically? The physicality of our union comes from the love of our flesh. Essential, but a failed marriage ...

We boast in the Lord's grace for us. Meaning, we are honest with our failures-- with ourselves, with others, and more importantly, with God. If we are continually saying, "Oh look what I've done," how are we giving glory to our God? If we are gaining spiritual pride of our own works, we become our own savior. If we continually discern and heed as if we have spiritual superiority, we lose the ability to reach and influence not only the non-believers among us but also our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. If our God is as big as we say He is and as He has claimed to be, we should consider ourselves of equal disgrace as that of a murderer, to the same ignominy as an adulterer or blasphemer.  We lose all humility when we boast in our accomplishment. If we are to boast in anything, let it be of our sufferings, only to magnify the Holy God we love and His adjournment for us. When we concede to our imperfections, we are made perfect through Him. For if a man is standing...