The Ever-Learning Disciple

Our first impression of who a man is comes from watching our fathers. Whether that means watching them love endlessly or seeing them walk away from their families (and everything in between). In our adolescence, we all have a different perspective of what it means to be a father. Which in turn, affects the way we comprehend who God is. I frequently find myself feeling as if my mistakes are disappointing my Heavenly Father; that He's downcast on the mediocre work I'm doing for His Kingdom. Because that's part of what I learned from my earthly father. It's deep-rooted in me that I have to earn my love from The Lord. And some days He doesn't want anything to do with me.   It's important to realize that our earthly father is not a mini-representation of Christ. They may or may not do a good job at reflecting who Christ is, but at the end of the day, they are human just like me and you.  Scripture tells us that God is the father to fatherless. If our fath...

If we created a being to represent the 'Body of Christ' based on who the church is, we wouldn't want to associate with the very being we've created. We'd have a head full of knowledge and theology, but necrotic fingers and a failing heart. We would electively rid of the organs that feed the body no purpose. We'd be dolled up with the most glamorous hair and aesthetics, yet our lungs would be consumed with the cancer of worldly things and our arteries with the love of the money in the offering plate. If anyone showed up who looked or acted differently, or maybe wasn't as good as we are at hiding our sins, we'd flood the body with antibiotics to make sure they know that they don't belong. We'd be legally blind to our own faults. We would be a being that didn't look any different than the rest of the world.  The church as a body is ill. It's consumed with itself and has no room to care for the lost. It's too busy feeding itself a fi...

Talk about a kid who is all about being outside, working with great-papaw in the garden, and fixing cars with his daddy. My nephew is almost two and is on his way to being a hard-working young man. Lately, he has been infatuated with the tractor, (which is really the lawn mower, but we won't wreck his dreams). I am convinced he lays down for his nap and dreams about riding the {tractor} all around our property. When he opens his sleepy eyes, before he can even comprehend where he is, he starts pleading with one simple word, "tractor!" This kid is eating, sleeping, breathing this tractor. My papaw is loving the time he gets to spend with the kid just riding around with him. It reminds me of when my sister and I used to love riding up and down the street on the lawn mower when we were little, too. I've watched my nephew breathe a fresh life into my grandparents. The light in their eyes when he is here is something I can't begin to explain.  The passion t...

When I double tap the picture of the sweet college girl and her God-fearing boyfriend. When I give the thumbs up on a post about how your relationship has now become a beautiful engagement. When I listen to you try to work out a disagreement between you and the man that you're madly in love with. When I pray that your marriage would grow and transform into an image even more like Christ. That's me working through the bitterness and feelings of insecurity. That's me letting the Holy Spirit have its way and stopping my selfish desires from getting in the way. That's the Lord doing something amazing in my heart because of you.  But truthfully, I wish I could have the argument you're having with your husband. I still wonder why the young girls who have a loving family pouring into them are blessed with a husband so soon in life. I complain to God that I'm the one who needs  a husband.  The Lord is not my source of love and security. Because if He was, th...

Have you ever been so sure of something and yet doubt it in its entirety at the same time? Have you ever felt the wind sweetly kiss you on the cheek while wondering how it could leave you that same instant? Lately, these feelings have thrived in my everyday being. An evening of intimate prayer creates stillness in me, only for the rising of the sun to steal away the peace of the night. I think of the stories in the bible where God did everything just short of audibly telling His people what He wanted from them. He made it so clear to Jonah that he should travel to Nineveh, and unmistakably conveyed to Paul each step to take next as he witnessed to the lost. What I wouldn't give to have the God of the universe speak to me with that kind of clarity. But instead, I plead with the Lord to show me something-- anything. In the absence of affirmation, I'm left with feelings of hopelessness and misdirection. What am I doing? Have I strayed from His plan so much that the paths have ...

Excuses . Excuses is all I have ever given to explain why I am allowed to be bitter. "You don't understand," and "..but my circumstances are different." I've never had a problem justifying why it was OK for me to be hateful, distant, and abrasive.  About two years ago, my pastor journeyed through a sermon series titled "Letting Go," and of course the sermon about letting go of anger and bitterness had my heart stirring. Just a few weeks before that, a dear friend of mine handed me a college graduation gift: a book titled "Let Go," which was all about letting go of pain and anger because the only thing it'll ever do is tear you apart and inhibit your ministry. Around the same time, I visited a friend's church and the sermon was centered around the same exact concept. THEN, to top it all off, my sister (who had NO idea that all these things were stirring up in me) sent me a long message about bitterness and how she was learning...

It's screaming, fighting, begging, pleading. You need this-- you deserve this. God created you to desire this. Just imagine what it will be like. C'mon, just give in a little. It'll make you happy. This is what I hear. Everyday. All day. My flesh is not only sinful, it's persistent! I can't escape it, I can't fight it, I can't walk away from it. So I give in... Now what? Now I'm alone with my thoughts. What did I sacrifice? What did I gain? How do I feel? Satisfied. I am complacent and satisfied for a moment. Maybe a day, a week, a year? How far did it get me?  Then regret sets in. What have I done? How many people have I hurt? Who knows about it? What do they think of me now? Was it worth it? Love and Attention. Recognition. Stability. Emotive Happiness. Dominance.  What do I want so badly that I'm willing to sacrifice my relationship with others? What can I not seem to live without that I jeopardize my testimony or disappoint my...