The Ever-Learning Disciple

Sometimes we forget. The real estate agent forgets the emotion that comes with buying a first home. The doctor forgets the fear that comes along with a diagnosis of cancer.  The teacher forgets the internal struggle that comes with falling behind in class.  The married forget the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. The parent forgets the idling time of childlessness.  According to google, the definition of contentment is a state of satisfaction. With that being said, the definition of discontentment means dissatisfaction of one's circumstance. To be dissatisfied means to have disapproval, disaffection, or vexation.  Scripture talks a lot about seeking, expecting, waiting, asking, and hoping. I don't think it means that we are discontent if we are working toward or longing for something different. It's important to evaluate what our desires are and why we desire them, but desires in themselves are not evidence of discontentment or lack of faith.  I am sa

She's stunning -- beautiful even without make-up. She's brave and strong but meek and effortlessly submissive. She's inquisitive but never argumentative. She has mastered the art of motherhood having never bore a child herself. She is intelligent and helpful but in the perfect harmony that she never portrays arrogance. She knows what she believes but also remains malleable for the Lord to continue teaching her. She's alluring but always modest. Fluently, she carries an aura of grace while illuminating an enduring spirit. She eloquently pursues holiness but never invades boastfulness or overconfidence. Vanity is far from her but she never fails to captivate. Her wisdom is beyond her while she continues to seek good judgement outwardly. She's persistent but never abrasive. She's transparent but shies away from candidness. She has portrayed the humility of the woman at the well absent of any sin that led her there. She's learned the devoutness

Tired. If I had to choose one word to describe my spirit, most days, I would answer with 'tired.' Not that there isn't liveliness, joy, and hunger in my soul-- there is. What I mean to say is that I fail to rest when it's most necessary. Sometimes that's simply my dealt hand, but sometimes it's pride and stubbornness that drives my work-do ways. Ruth. If I could compare myself to any woman in the bible, it would be Ruth. I think her spirit was tired, too. See, she was a Moabite. Which means she served a god that wasn't the Lord. (Chemosh was his name). But in comparison to me, I also served a god that wasn't the God I serve today. That god manifested in many different forms: pride, arrogance, charm, bitterness, unforgiveness-- you name it and it was probably a god of mine. Ruth seems strong-willed and slightly dogmatic. She was married to Mahlon who died along with his brother, Chilion. The Mosaic law states that when a man dies, his brother is to

"I cry to you for help and you do not answer me; I stand and you only look at me. You have turned cruel to me; with the might of your hand you persecute me." Job 30:20-21 I have doubted his goodness. In fact, I've doubted his goodness more than not. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have called God a bully and wrestled with his intentions in prayer. I have accused him of being a horrific beast who is basking in my anguish. I've imagined him on his glorious throne with a bowl of extra buttery Orville Redenbacher waving his magic wand ushering the rain to keep pouring. The storms are sudden and they are so constant that it's caused a flood and I'm left stranded without a vessel. Assuming there's even somewhere that it could take me where the land is dry and the sun beams down in righteousness. I haven't doubted his power. I have cried out to him reminding him that he could intervene. I have pleaded with him to give mercy on my soul. "How long,