Paralytic Passions, Crippling Contentment

Sometimes we forget.
The real estate agent forgets the emotion that comes with buying a first home.
The doctor forgets the fear that comes along with a diagnosis of cancer. 
The teacher forgets the internal struggle that comes with falling behind in class. 
The married forget the overwhelming feeling of loneliness.
The parent forgets the idling time of childlessness. 

According to google, the definition of contentment is a state of satisfaction. With that being said, the definition of discontentment means dissatisfaction of one's circumstance. To be dissatisfied means to have disapproval, disaffection, or vexation. 

Scripture talks a lot about seeking, expecting, waiting, asking, and hoping. I don't think it means that we are discontent if we are working toward or longing for something different. It's important to evaluate what our desires are and why we desire them, but desires in themselves are not evidence of discontentment or lack of faith. 

I am satisfied in Christ, but I also long to be married. There is no secret formula to receiving the lord's gifts. There is no rule that we have to stop desiring marriage to receive marriage. Goodness it's so silly to carry that {unrealistic} expectation around as a single! I have pleaded with the lord for a husband, but I have also walked away from the opportunity to be married 3 times! Because I DO trust the lord and expectantly wait for him to provide a marriage that will lead me to holiness, not away from it. I DO have hope in the lord to prepare me to be a godly wife in the meantime.  

It's not desperation, faithlessness, or discontentment to spend time praying, asking, and {GASP!} even working for the holy desires programmed in us. Meanwhile, contentment for me is admitting to my heavenly father that I will continue to love and serve him if I'm still single when I'm going through menapause. I will serve in children's church and spend my undivided attentions with Jesus while I still can. I will let Jesus keep me for a while and be the best bride I know how to be to my heavenly groom.
But, I will also keep reading books on marriage, studying scripture about wifely standards, seeking counsel from my married friends, and scoping out the single men at church. I will always be unassumingly but expectantly waiting. 



You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11

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