Humbug

    Over the previous couple of years, I have been shaping an image of who I anticipate my future husband to be. These ideas include his likes, his dislikes, his strengths, and his skill set. As time drifts by, this list is becoming lengthier and more uncompromising. Who ever he is, he needs to come quick before the expectations become unattainable (although I think they already are).

    Something formidable happened as my list became so involved that I was now considering not only who he would be, but also what kind of woman he would be searching. He would be most attracted to the Godliness and pure heart of his future wife. She would wake up each morning desperate to hear from The Lord. She would seek Christ in everything she did and said. She would be a role model to young girls. She would go out of her way to help a friend. She would go even more out of her way to help a stranger. This should be his list. 

    Uh oh. 

    I know what kind of man I want to marry. And I know what kind of woman he will desire and deserve. But the problem is–I'm not that woman. 

    Now I sit here amazed at how the Lord is using a secret door to destroy this image I have of myself and show me more of how I can better seek and serve Him. It's as if He's letting me see myself from outside of my own being— from my future husbands perspective. My prayer has become perplexing and I'm overwhelmed and overjoyed simultaneously.

    1 Corinthians 7: 34 says: "... And the unmarried woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband."

    I read this scripture and immediately asked myself if I was anxious about the things of the Lord. Are my interests divided before I'm even married? If I don't strive to be this woman now, getting married to this mythical husband is not going to magically turn me into her later.

    With much help from my heavenly father, I am ridding the unforgiving list that I have been expecting a man to measure up to, and replacing it with a prayerful heart to become the woman I would envision him marrying.

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