Follow the Leader

"You can't build your own boyfriend"

I admit I have serious control issues. I'd rather do an entire group project alone so that I don't have to depend on or trust other people's work. It's just my personality.. But recently, The Lord has began revealing to me that this is not a Godly attribute. 

So, I began to search out and pray about my role as a Godly woman. Who has the Lord instructed me to be; how has He laid out the blueprint for me to handle decision-making and fight off my eager, controlling desires? 

Scripture lays out framework for who we are to be as women and men of God. First and foremost, we are to be imitators of God. Yes, we as sinners who cannot escape our flesh, are to strive for the righteousness of our Holy God. The next part of Ephesians 5 tell us how we are to mimic our Lord-- by walking in love. Forgive one another, sacrifice for your brother's sake, and resist feeling entitled to anything. Love is hard. Forgiveness is harder. And sacrifice? Might as well consider that an expert level skill in the Christian game. 

The stakes go up even higher as we enter into marriage. Wives are instructed to submit to their husbands. Is the point to submit our emotions, or to submit our rational thinking and decision making? Are our acts of service an attempt to gain reassurance, or to serve? Are our acts of service for us, or for them? Wait a minute. I am expected to submit to another human being? Someone who is limited by the same flesh that I am? But what if my ideas are better? Or if I make more money, or maybe I'm smarter than him? -- Yeah, there I go again. Control issues. Until a futuristic inventor creates a machine that allows me to build my own boyfriend, then yes, even when it doesn't make sense, or when I think I may be able to play the male role better, I am instructed to submit to the man I choose to marry. Adam was created first, the Lord granted him the power to name the animals and to rule over them. Scripture is pretty clear about women being created for man. For companionship, assistance, and to create a family. As a woman in graduate school, I am all about women pursuing something different than being a stay-at-home mom if that's where the Lord has led her; but The Lord is diligently showing me that I am not perfect and I don't always have the right answers. So, while I pray that I will one day soon get to enter into the world of marriage, I am even more so praying to learn how to let go and trust people. What better way to learn this than to start right now? Trusting my friends and submitting to those who are wiser, older, or maybe just simply wants the responsibility, whether they will do the job better or not. 

Ephesians chapter 5 lays out the blueprint for the order of submission and it does NOT stop after "women submit to your husbands." It goes on to instruct men to submit to Christ and love his wife as Christ loved the church. "As Christ loved the church." Ask yourself what that last statement means. How exactly did Christ love the church? When I stopped to think about this line instead of brushing past it like I have before, I began to realize how hard the role of a husband is. I will choose singleness for the rest of my life rather than submit to a man who does not cherish this commandment. Will he fail? Yes. And I will show grace to him as he does to me. But I refuse to marry a man who is not up for fighting that battle every day. (This topic is another post for another time).

When it's all said and done, when we see God face to face, I don't think God will be impressed by how many things I did right on my own, or how many times I took the lead because I thought I was the best choice. Rather, I hope my Father will look at me and tell me that I have loved well.