Deconditioned -- Heirs of Grace, Part 2

I once ran a mile in 6 minutes and 32 seconds. It was the fastest mile I ever ran. That was the goal of cross country practice that day-- to run the fastest mile possible. We rarely did that because we usually worked more on endurance (obviously). But I remember that day. I was late to practice (as usual) because I had cheerleading practice right after school. The other team members had already ran their 'fast mile' and were about to start their un-timed mile. I knew I couldn't use their momentum to push me like I usually did. Their muscles were fatigued and the pressure was off.

We all took off together. I was usually the 4th runner on our team. I zipped by the 3rd runner and quickly caught up to our top two runners. "This is AWESOME!" I thought. I have never been able to pass up the freshmen girls with the gazelle legs. Of course I was at an unfair advantage, but it revved me up and made me run even faster. Thus, 6:32:00.

That was about 7 years ago. But yesterday? Yesterday it took everything in me to run a mile and keep it under 9 minutes. Because, well, life has been busy and I haven't ran in weeks. Sure, I've been biking, but my muscle groups are not currently in running condition. Amazing how quickly that happens. 

Unfortunately, those busy weeks didn't just hinder my physical health; my spiritual health was suffering, too. I reasoned that Jesus would rather me pass my boards than to worry about getting that bible time in. And everyday that I skipped my morning quiet time, it got easier and easier. After confessing to my accountability partner that my time with the Lord was at a steady decline (or had totally fallen off the cliff- whichever), she made a point to ask me daily how I was carving out time from my studying to cling to His promises. I realized that the 45 minutes I was recently spending in the word was harder to find in my day. I was beginning to wonder if my days were shorter now. But that's because my routine had already changed. My desire to wake up earlier to be with Jesus was harder to find. I was spiritually deconditioning (yikes!)

I recently asked some close friends if they could describe their relationship with the Lord in one word, what would they choose. The answers I received were inspiring and so awesome to see how different they were: peace, freedom, steadfast. But much more than just once, people responded with words like grace and redeemed. 

Wow! Not only is grace so abundant, but most people would even DEFINE their entire relationship with the God of the universe with the concept! I sat back and asked myself 'why?' Why is grace such a huge part of the Christian walk? The most simple answer I came up with is because we suck. People suck. Christians suck. I suck. We are so limited by our flesh, dang it. We can't help but to just totally suck. But woah baby does that get me fired up about Jesus! That's the point of Jesus! If we didn't suck, we wouldn't need Jesus. And the point of Christianity is not to not need Jesus. 

So, I'm gonna soak up that unending ocean of mercy- because Lord knows I need it. And every ounce of grace I receive is another breath-taking realization of {who God is and who I am in Him}. It's okay if I suck. It's okay if I give it my damned best and still just suck. Because that doesn't define who I am in Christ. I am a daughter of COMPASSION. I have unlimited access to harvest MERCY. I am an heir of GRACE.